it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
