Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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