"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
