the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Someone shattered a urinal.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
