at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
