my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
