before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
