Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
