doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
