Screwed.edu
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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