I just cut my nipple shaving
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
