Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
