they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
