we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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