I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
