The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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