Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
