Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The dick lei will go down in squad history
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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