She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
