Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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