she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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