: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
