you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
