You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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