Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
