She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
