I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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