she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
