it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
