Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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