Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
