Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
