So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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