Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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