I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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