belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
