You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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