how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
