hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
what day is it and did you see me today?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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