yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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