idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
