The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
