i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
