well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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