Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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