It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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