can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
