i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize
