i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
