But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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